Welcome to a slightly refreshed Leadership Letters!
Tomorrow I’ll be celebrating my 43rd birthday.
It’s a pretty anti-climatic one, given that it’s neither a milestone birthday nor one I can celebrate in ways I typically would. And that’s fine with me.
As is custom, I’m spending time thinking about what I want to create over the year ahead. I’m not naive enough to fully plan it all out – if this pandemic has taught me nothing else, it’s the importance of holding our plans loosely. But I am thinking about what’s most important and what I want to make more time for (and what I want to make less time for). This is in keeping with our theme this month inside of LEAD.Well – we’re looking at ways to create space for what matters.
Starting on Saturday, I’m taking a summer social media sabbatical.
I figured it was the best birthday gift I could give myself, after months spent tied to a screen, endlessly refreshing (or doomscrolling if we’re honest) to get the latest news. I make no promises after summer – I might be back or I might not, we’ll see how it goes.
Right now my rules are: no Facebook or Instagram. I haven’t decided on Twitter yet…it’s where I go to get local news, gather content for this newsletter and test ideas. It also doesn’t hook me in like FB & IG do. So we’ll see.
I’ll record a podcast episode next week with more thoughts around this, but for now, here’s what led to my decision to take a break (and perhaps a break-up):
- It’s a distraction. I know, captain obvious right? But really, too much time was being spent hitting refresh and endlessly scrolling. And all of that time was time that wasn’t spent writing, creating, podcasting, cooking, spending time with my kids, reading, strategizing and more. My deep work windows have been radically reduced with everyone home, so I need to make the most of them. Social media is keeping me from that.
- It hooks me in. I asked myself this question, “Do you feel better after spending time on social?” and the answer was no about 85% of the time. Sure, I love to see kid pictures, celebrate a friend’s big news, or come across a funny meme – but more often than not, I was left feeling depleted, overwhelmed, triggered and sometimes even in compare and despair (my least favourite feeling and the least productive state ever).
- It’s a lot of work.Similar to point #1, the amount of time I spent trying to come up with thoughtful content on IG (plus images!) for my business was nuts. And the return was small. Every IG post I created was an idea that could have been more fully flushed out. Case in point: the last letter/post I wrote, Impact vs Intent, could have easily been an IG post and nothing more. Instead, I took the time to explore and write more, and it’s since been shared widely and even used as a resource in several organizations navigating hard conversations around white privilege.
- I’m not made for it. It’s not where my greatest contribution lies. I would never assume that my approach should be yours, but I’m clear that my work around leadership isn’t best expressed in short quips. Some of the important work I want to do around leadership, including both writing a book and integrating anti-racist practices into my business, won’t happen if I’m getting caught up in social media showcasing.
- I need a break. I’m tired. And one of the best ways I know to refresh is to reduce my screen time and get out into nature. I’m more useful to myself, my family and to you if I’m not running on empty.
No decision is without its cost. I know there are solid reasons to stay. And I also know that I might change my mind in a week. 🤣
But after the dumpster fire that’s been 2020, and on the eve of my birthday, I’m ready to ditch conventions and business best practices, and take my own advice – opting for self-care over self-comfort (the kind that doesn’t always feel good but is good for you).
Steph
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💡 FRESH, HAND-PICKED RESOURCES
Curated links from around the web to help you work well, live well and lead well.
From one of my favourite food bloggers comes an important piece about the impact on working parents during COVID (and women in particular). In the Covid-19 Economy, You Can Have a Kid or a Job. You Can’t Have Both. “Our struggle is not an emotional concern. We are not burned out. We are being crushed by an economy that has bafflingly declared working parents inessential.”
You can hire better. She offers up insight into the question: what do you do when the room you occupy doesn’t look like the room you envisioned?
Written over a year ago, this article feels more relevant now than when it was first written: Self-care isn’t enough. We need community care to thrive. In the coaching industry we are trained from the underlying premise that individuals are responsible for their own realities, and while I believe that to some degree, my views have evolved and expanded to recognize the limitations and harmfulness of an individual-first perspective. Shouting “self-care” at people who actually need “community care” is how we fail people. – Nakita Valerio
The End of the Girlboss Is Here. Fascinating read. “The problem with making girlboss feminism a part of your brand in order to appeal to customers was that those customers were going to expect you to put your values into practice.
Recently Read: White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo (have since learned it’s problematic so I’m not recommending), The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande (fantastic!) and Rage Against the Minivan by Kirsten Howerton (enjoyable read).
Currently Reading: Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche (so good!), How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell and How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi (finally was able to get a copy after being sold out for weeks).
One of my very favourite podcasts explores why black people are suddenly receiving random Venmo payments from white people. Really worth listening to, The Least You Can Do.
If you want your faith in humanity restored, listen to this episode of The Daily. It’s a rebroadcast of a previous episode (that at the time brought me to tears – something that is remarkably hard to do. Lol), plus a wonderful follow-up including listeners raising over $100,000 for her family. 🥰
Brené on Shame and Accountability. This is an important and helpful listen if fear of doing it wrong or being called out is getting in the way of taking action. She breaks out the difference between being held accountable and being shamed (note: they are different).
Newsletters are my jam. I subscribe to more than I should, but I much prefer them to social. Here are a few I’ve recently discovered, and love.
- #jesspicks – Jessica (a Leadership Letters reader too!) curates the best resources, inspiration and tools for side hustlers. Subscribe here.
- Inside Podcasting – for my fellow podcasters, Skye Pillsbury puts together a solid roundup of the latest podcast news. Subscribe here.
- Christine Koh – I’ve followed Christine’s work for years (loyal listener to her Edit Your Life podcast) and am enjoying her new newsletter. Subscribe here.
- Notes from Eva – A newsletter about writing, art and living more creatively. Subscribe here.
Speaking of newsletters, I use this brilliant app, Stoop Inbox, to manage them all. Having them in a separate place and out of my main inbox has been a life-saver. You can subscribe to both newsletters and YouTube channels inside Stoop, and easily unsubscribe when you’ve had enough. I’ve tried folders and filters inside Gmail, but having it live in a totally separate app with only ONE purpose, has made it so much easier.
I knew it all along, Coffee Might Actually Make You a Better Leader.
Sarah Cooper is hilarious on Twitter and I just discovered she has a “Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings” calendar. Reading through these instantly transported me back in time to some of many corporate meetings I used to sit in, hoping as a 28-year-old, that I looked smart enough to be there. 🤣
This made me laugh: We shouldn’t presume that the Velociraptor experts know the best way to deal with the Velociraptor attacks
“Here’s how you can show up. Knowledge plus empathy plus action. If you take any one away, you’re performing.”
💥THE WEEK IN A GIF
Tomorrow’s my birthday, and I will be enjoying all the cake.
💛 SHARING IS CARING
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