I’ve been thinking about time a lot lately.

 
As we soak up the last few weeks of summer before a return to school on September 1st, I can’t help but notice how quickly time is passing. I know this sounds bizarre given the past 18+ months, but I think that’s exactly why I’m so mindful of it.

In the first months of the pandemic, everything came to a standstill as we all figured out how to be in the world under constant uncertainty and stress. As the months wore on, with the ups and downs depending on where in the world you lived, we all just crossed our fingers that we’d be out of this thing sooner versus later.

By winter, we felt exhausted, but hopeful with the news that the vaccine was on the horizon much faster than expected. And then by late spring, we felt relieved as some degree of normalcy returned (I emphasize ‘some’) and our numbers decreased and vaccination rates went up.

And now here we are, numbers spiking again with Delta running ravage through our unvaccinated population, and the reality that the fall won’t be what we’d all hoped for.

I said to my husband last night, “Let’s think about what we want this fall and winter season to look like, all things considered. We’ve been living life in a holding pattern waiting for this thing to be over so we could resume our lives. I don’t want to keep waiting like this; it’s not good for our family or our well-being.”

When COVID hit, my kids were nine and 10. Come September 1st, they’ll be 11 and 12. When I think about the time on a day-to-day basis, it just is what it is, but when I put it in the context of their entire life span, I see just how much time has truly passed since this all started, and how much of it has been spent in limbo.

I offer this reflection up only as an observation, not a judgement.

We all (well, most of us) are doing the best we can to stay safe, keep others safe and make good, community and individually-minded decisions. And that’s meant a lot of waiting, a lot of holding off, and a lot of modifications to the way we normally live.

Personally, I will continue this way into the coming school year given a) one of my kids can’t yet be vaccinated, and b) because a lot of kids can’t yet be vaccinated. I also recognize that I write this from a place of deep privilege – one that’s allowed both my husband and I to work from home, support the kids and limit our exposure.

It’s also worth noting just how damn tired (and angry if we’re honest) we all are.

Perhaps I’m operating in a bubble, but the common consensus amongst my friends, colleagues, clients and my community is that everyone is feeling burnt out or on the brink of it. There are a million and one reasons why we’re all so exhausted and I’ll save those for another day, but the weariness has definitely impacted my desire to do more than the baseline at times, as I’m sure it has yours.

I offer us all up a huge permission slip to be ok being tired, pissed off and worn out. How could we not be?

Still, with a new year ahead (I mark the new year by the school calendar), I’m hoping to experience this next leg of the journey a little differently – not necessarily in how much I do (I’ll still be limiting my activities), but in how I think about what I do.
 

The question I keep asking myself is this: “How can I live and lead well in this continued season of uncertainty and turmoil?”

 
To be clear, this isn’t about trying to maximize productivity or ignore reality, but rather a genuine inquiry into how I want to show up for myself and others when the goalpost keeps on moving. If we have another year of this roller coaster ride, I want to be more intentional with how I use that time.

And a big part of that is shifting my mindset from ‘waiting until’ to ‘today I can.’

In that spirit, here are a few of my ‘today I can’ items:

  • Today, I can go for a walk with my dog and clear my racing mind
  • Today, I can write something that might resonate with someone
  • Today, I can say no to something to create more margin in my days
  • Today, I can play a game of cards with my kiddos
  • Today, I can help a client with a tricky problem or a beautiful opportunity
  • Today, I can go to bed early so that I wake up feeling a little more rested
  • Today, I can reach out and connect with a friend or a client or a colleague to see how they’re doing
  • Today, I can put my name forward to speak on a podcast or an event (even if it’s virtual)
  • Today, I can limit my doomscrolling and find a moment of gratitude instead
  • Today, I can create something new to better serve my LEAD.Well community of women
  • Today, I can sit on the bed with my daughter, a bag of sour patch kids between us, and talk to her about whatever is on her mind
  • Today, I can use my voice to advocate for change through letter-writing, rallying and supporting candidates who will do better
  • Today, I can rest and relax without guilt knowing I’m of no service if I’m completely burnt out
  • Today, I can create a schedule that works for this season of my life and prioritizes what matters most (right now)

There are many things I can do today and tomorrow to support this season, even if it doesn’t look like half the things I’d normally do at this time. I’m trying my best to make peace with that rather than wishing for things to be different (though let’s be clear, this is no easy task).
 

And isn’t that the best we can do right now: to be adaptive to this constantly changing external environment, while finding our own internal ways to stay grounded and purposeful alongside it?

 
What does that look like for you? If you haven’t yet, I encourage you to give it some thought.

And a reminder that the ‘right’ answer won’t be in the actions themselves, but instead in the intention behind why you chose them.

It’s as valid to say, “I’m burnt out and I’m going to spend the next few months simplifying everything so that I can prioritize rest and self-care,” as it is to say, “I’m going to lean into that project I’ve been tabling since COVID hit and finally get it off the ground.”

What can you do today?

To living and leading well,

Steph

p.s. If you need support with this, I’m here. Book a complimentary call with me and we’ll explore how you can be more intentional with your time, and where you would be best served putting your focus.
 
 
 

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