When the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2006, a dear friend and I sat on my living room floor contemplating everything.
We had just returned from a nice, though somewhat depressing, dinner out and had made plans to spend the rest of the evening figuring out what we were going to do with our lives.
We weren’t happy with where we were at; that we knew for sure. But what we should do about it? That part was less clear. All we knew was that we weren’t leaving my living room until we had a plan.
So we got out our brand new notebooks, pretty pens and set into motion a multi-hour goal-setting session.
We started by identifying 11 (yes 11, for the love) areas of our lives we wanted to make progress in and then proceeded to come up with a bunch of goals for each area.
By the end, in the wee hours of the morning, I’d filled countless pages in my new notebook with elaborate plans, commitments and SMART goals for the whole of 2006.
Can you guess what happened that year?
Nope, you’re wrong (I can read your mind, you figured we didn’t meet any of our goals, right?).
We met almost every single one of the big, brave goals we set that night. 🎉
I got a raise and promotion, met my now-husband, became a Top 40 Under 40 (that wasn’t a goal but was a nice byproduct), joined a community board, saved a bunch of money and got into the best shape of my life. And my friend had similarly amazing results.
Now, ask me if I’ve ever been able to do that again in the 15 years since.
No friend, no I have not.
Don’t kid yourself, I’ve certainly tried.
I’ve even duplicated the exact, elaborate approach I took in 2006 to little success. And I’ve tried 86 million other approaches since to varying success. I’ve still got the orange notebook I wrote those original plans in as inspiration; I’m sure it’s somewhere in the bottom of my closet along with the corporate suits I no longer wear.
And while I’ve still made many great things happen in the years since, including a number of goals I’ve set for myself, nothing has come close to 2006.
In 2006, I became a unicorn.
There were so many conditions in my favour in 2006 – both inside and outside my control – that led to those results, not to mention, a healthy dose of good luck.
I had an abundance of time, financial resources, energy and access to everything I needed to fairly easily reach the goals I set. And the external environment was ripe for opportunity and growth (pre-2008 recession).
Fast forward 15 years and the conditions look a little different. I’m a mom of two tweens (which isn’t any less work than young kids, it’s just different), a wife, a daughter to aging parents, a business owner, a house manager, a volunteer and a 44-year-old woman in the throws of peri. Oh, and in a pandemic.
I chose most of these things and wouldn’t change them for the world (minus the pandemic of course), but I also have the wisdom to know the season of life I was in back in 2006 is radically different from the one I’m currently inhabiting. Not better, not worse, just different.
And those differences require a different approach to goal-setting and everything that comes with it. Taking out a new notebook to create complex goals for 11 areas of my life not only sounds completely unrealistic, but also completely exhausting.
As I entered in 2022, I needed a different way to approach the year.
I scrapped my Goals and KPI databases from last year’s Notion (which largely went untouched) in favour of an approach that feels more sustainable for this season of life I find myself in. It’s a work-in-progress – but it feels more generous, expansive and flexible to meet the demands of our ever-changing reality.
If you want to hear more about it, I recorded a podcast episode walking you through each step of the 3-part framework I came up (heavily inspired by others), to build a more sustainable plan for 2022.
Listen to: A 3-part framework to create a more sustainable plan this year
Whether you use my approach or not, I hope that you’ll find YOUR best mix of ambitions vs reality. It’s a delicate balance these days, and one that I believe requires a lot of self-compassion and an everyday (over once-in-a-while) approach.
To leading well,
Steph
p.s. I’d love to support you with your own sustainable 2022 plan. You can book a complimentary call with me here and we can talk about how I might be able to help. I’ve got space for two new clients starting next month.
💡 FRESH, HAND-PICKED RESOURCES
Curated links from around the web to help you work well, live well and lead well.
📶 How does the internet shape us? That’s the question Jon Favreau (Pod Save America) is asking on his new(ish) podcast series, Offline. He talks to leaders, creatives, thinkers and culture-makers about the role social media plays in their lives, how the internet has influenced them (for better and for worse) and how we can use these tools better.
I particularly love his conversations with: Monica Lewinsky, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Stephen Colbert, Chimamanda Adichie and Jenny Odell. Listen to the archives here.
〰️ As we explore this quarter’s theme, The Courage to Lead, inside LEAD.Well, one of the practices coming up soon will be, ‘the courage to hold the line.’ This is another way to say, ‘setting a boundary and keeping it.’ Many of us struggle setting firm, clear and kind boundaries because we’ve been conditioned to abide by ‘good girl’ behaviour that says other’s people’s comfort is more important than our own.
It takes tremendous courage to put a boundary in place and hold the line when someone tries to walk over it, but it’s a critical leadership (and life) skill.
Here are some practical ways to set boundaries (and stick to them) in 2022. You can also join us in LEAD.Well to continue the discussion (hint hint).
🎙️ This year, I’ll be sharing the stories of everyday leaders over on the podcast. These women, mostly members of my LEAD.Well community, share their ups and downs on their leadership journey, and we usually dig into one or two focus areas to go deeper. These aren’t interviews in the typical podcast sense – I prefer a more conversational tone (which is why I prefer to highlight members). I hope these stories inspire you!
In episode #101, I speak with Heidi Johnson– a LEAD.Well member and a dear friend. Heidi shares her leadership story, including her initial reluctance to calling herself a leader and what shifted it for her. Then we shift to values and the pivotal role they’ve played in helping her as a leader. You really don’t want to miss this conversation.
Listen to #101 – Heidi Johnson’s Journey to Leadership
*And if you missed it, the podcast got a new name this year! We’re now the Everyday Leadership for Smart Women podcast.
🟩 Are you Worldling? Of course you are (or you’re really annoyed that everyone else is posting their green squares on social 😅). I love Wordle for its simplicity and sense of satisfaction. As I said here on Twitter, everything that 2022 isn’t, Wordle is. But do you know Wordle’s origins? Turns out, Wordle is a love story. — Want more Wordle? Your Wordle strategy says a lot about how you see the world.
⚽ As a former soccer player, and now the mother to one (and a goalie no less), it was bittersweet when Steph Labbé announced her retirement. As the keeper who helped bring a gold medal home for Team Canada this summer, Steph is a source of tremendous inspiration – on and off the field. In this short video, Steph shares her soccer journey, what brought her to this decision and the ups and downs through it all.
I’m sharing it not only because I respect her so much, but also because her story reminds me that no path to greatness is without challenge. Steph speaks candidly about her struggles with anxiety and depression – something I deeply respect given how confident she appears on the outside.
Go check it out here and if you scroll down the thread you’ll see a picture of my 11yo kiddo in her keeper gear. ❤️ 🇨🇦
We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones. Given time, they grow again.
~Katherine May, Wintering
🌱 INSIDE LEAD.Well:
You are welcome to join LEAD.Well and be part of my community of practice for women looking to be better, braver everyday leaders. We work together through weekly practices, quarterly themes, coaching, roundtable leadership discussions, book club picks and our quarterly Leader Retreats.
Here’s what we’re up to in LEAD.Well:
- We’re exploring this quarter’s theme, Courage to Lead, through weekly practices (on the private podcast) and our Leader Roundtables
- We’re practicing “making the ask” by stretching ourselves to ask for help, ask for an opportunity or ask for feedback
- We’re conducting weekly Leader Reviews inside our Circle Community through regular Friday check-ins
Learn more and join us here.
💥THE WEEK IN A GIF
It’s that kind of January. 😅 Also, apparently gifs are out, but I’m not having it. Don’t take away my joy, man.
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