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We don’t have to look far to see examples of bad leadership.
The pandemic, if nothing else, has been a wake-up call for many of us that the people in charge – in what we have historically deemed leadership roles – aren’t at best, the right people for the job and at worst, are actively creating more harm, distrust and damage.
There have been many maddening moments over the past 20+ months when I’ve vacillated between deep disappointment and white-hot rage. I’ve shed tears at the injustices and shaken my head in utter disbelief at how the people, governments and companies we’ve charged with looking out for our shared interest…don’t.
Luckily, there have been inspiring moments too: reading about the company leaders who rise to the challenge of creating a fair, flexible working environment for their staff who are navigating a massive period of disruption or smart, capable women getting elected into government or other leaders who do the right thing despite how it’ll poll on Twitter.
But what it got me thinking most about is how we need to fundamentally redefine our ideas around what leadership even means.
When I say “leadership,” you say ________.
My bet is that you’ve filled in the blank with the words we’ve historically used to define leadership or being a leader. Words like:
- C-suite
- Corner office
- Power
- Authority
- White
- Male
- Boss / Manager
- Politician
- Expert
Sound about right?
The problem with these definitions of leadership is that they are mostly labels and roles, not qualities and characteristics. They largely come by virtue of rank and title, not sustained care and commitment.
Are there examples of great leaders who also hold these labels and roles? Of course there are. Many leaders who hold traditional power are also embody the traits of great leaders who deeply care about the impact they’re making in the world.
All I’m saying is that it doesn’t guarantee it.
And, more importantly, this bullet list is a narrow, non-inclusive list of ways we can exercise our leadership in the world. It defaults to holding space for only a select few, and rewards prestige over purpose, status over sustenance.
Good for them, not for me.
One of the reasons many women I speak with have a conflicted view of leadership, so much so that many will resist the very notion, is because of the limited ways we’ve been conditioned to talk and think about it.
If our only context for leadership involve the bullet list I shared above, then it’s hard for many of us to see ourselves as ‘worthy’ of leading (I share in air quotes because of COURSE you’re worthy, but I know this is what you tell yourself).
If this form of leadership – the kind we see show up in the news or on social media – doesn’t resonate with our values or the way we want to operate in the world, it can then become easy to be dismissive of it and decide that leadership is something someone else does, not us.
And if we do finally see women lead, but they have to contort and shift who they are to embody those more masculine, stereotypical traits, then many will simply say, “No thank you,” and opt right out.
I understand how this skews our understanding of leadership, but I fundamentally reject the premise that it then means there’s no place for us.
101 Definitions of Leadership
There are 101 different definitions of leadership, many of which can be found in leadership books written by a handful of white men who run big companies.
Here are a few examples:
The only definition of leadership is someone who has followers. ~Peter Drucker
Leadership is the capacity to turn vision into reality. ~Warren Bennis
Leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less. ~John Maxwell
You lost me. 😑
Of course there are other definitions, much better definitions than these – but these three men, known for their leadership acumen, are partially responsible for shaping the cultural narrative of what being a leader means and what we value from great leaders.
And this is where we lose a good chunk of the population, including me.
A different definition of leadership
We need to start working toward a more expansive, generative definition of leadership if we’re to face the challenges ahead.
The good news is that we don’t have to remain limited by old-school ideas of leadership, but instead can continue to carve a more expansive version of what it means to be a leader.
That work is well underway, and for better or worse, I think the pandemic has expedited our desire and urgency to find stronger, more inclusive models that go beyond simply supporting any one individual’s needs, and instead focus on supporting the collective good. We’re not there yet, by any stretch, but the small shifts are coming.
Here in my home province, for example, despite ALL our provincial government’s flaws (of which there are too many to name), they did recently reach an agreement with our federal government to begin to roll out affordable childcare.
By 2026 or sooner, families will be paying roughly $10/day for each child – a life-changing difference for most working families. This is an example of leadership for the collective not just the individual. When parents (and let’s be clear we’re mostly talking about women here) are able to continue working because they can now afford reliable, safe childcare without crippling their finances, everyone benefits.
A Case for Everyday Leadership
Does this mean you need to work in politics or on the front lines of climate change or as the CEO of a major organization to make a difference? Absolutely not.
Inside LEAD.Well, my community of practice for women looking to become better, braver leaders, we define leadership a little bit differently. Unlike many leadership programs, executive leadership retreats and the stacks of leadership books found in any bookstore, we focus less on specific strategies around how to lead others, and instead focus on how we’re leading ourselves.
We believe that in order to lead others, to lead a project, to lead anything well, we have to first look inward and explore our own leadership growth edges. That looks like deeply understanding our values, our tension points, our thought patterns, our priorities and our desired impact. We approach leadership as an inside-out job.
While leadership certainly is about leading others (in all kinds of ways), we are only able to do that well if we’re actively working on our own growth and expansion. As someone wise once said, “You can’t give what you don’t have.” Being a strong, effective and empathetic leader is only available to us if we’re doing our own work to learn and unlearn a new way forward.
And the way we think about that is through the idea of everyday leadership.
It’s easy to think leadership is about the extraordinary: the stages, the status, the spotlight. But most examples of great leadership are about the everyday: the invisible, the insightful, the inclusive.
Here’s what that looks like in practice for us inside LEAD.Well.
LEAD.Well Guiding Principles
- We know that leadership is an inside-out job first
- We believe that leadership is a practice, not a position
- We approach everything through a lens of curiosity and openness
- We take a values-first mindset to all decision-making and action-taking
- We abide by the mantra, progress over perfection
- We take good care of ourselves and others
- We focus our attention on what matters most, not just what matters in the moment
- We leverage our personal power with a power-with vs a power-over approach
- We support, listen and champion each other knowing that we all get better, together
- We strive to make the world better than we left it – in both small and big ways
We Need your Leadership
We believe that the world needs a better way of leading – one that is grounded in values, curiosity, impact and sustainability. We believe that women have the power to create profound change in the communities they operate in. And we believe that great leadership isn’t limited to a handful of people who happen to have a title to match and that a much more inclusive, diverse and expansive form of leadership is required.
Leadership is available to all of us, everyday.
When we wake up in the morning, splash water on our face and head out into the world we make a hundred-and-one micro decisions about the way we’ll exercise our leadership – regardless of what role we’re occupying or external status we hold.
- The way we engage with our fellow co-workers is a form of leadership
- The hard decisions we make in the best interest of our team is a form of leadership
- The attention we bring to an important project is a form of leadership
- The times we advocate for others is a form of leadership
- The ideas we bring to the table are a form of leadership
- The truth we tell to those who need (but may not want) to hear it is a form of leadership
- The asks we make to support ourselves or others are a form of leadership
- The care we give to those we lead is a form of leadership
- The commitments we make are a form of leadership
- The work we do that no one else will do is a form of leadership
We’re All a Work-in-Progress
Our leadership is fluid and ever-evolving. We don’t arrive as leaders; we continually unravel and shape the leaders we are becoming. There’s no perfection in the new way of leading, only a commitment to practice getting better.
The leaders of our future won’t be hooked into appearing like they’re infallible and without flaws; they’ll recognize that by definition, leadership is also an act of vulnerability and exploration.
And that means that there’s much more room for everyday people like you and I to take part.
Join Us Around the Table
My invitation to you is two-fold:
- That regardless of your position, your ‘years in’, your title, your net worth or any other external metric, you claim your rightful place at the leadership table of your life. Your influence and impact may not be visible on the world’s stage, but it doesn’t make it any less important.
Find one thing this week that you can more actively apply your leadership to. It may be a tricky situation, a new client, an existing project that’s been languishing, an opportunity to challenge the status quo or something else – I trust that the opportunities are there. Ask yourself, “How can I bring my leadership to this situation and how would that shift the way I’m currently showing up for it?“ - Join us in LEAD.Well. These are the conversations we’re having inside our community. Through our Leader Roundtables, Weekly Practices, Seasonal Themes, and Coaching Support – you’ll have a tight, thoughtful container to do this work in community with other like-minded women who care deeply about the communities, projects and people they serve.
We’ve got women in all industries, at all levels, showing up and doing the work. We’d love you to join us.
👉Join the LEAD.Well Community
Join by December 10th and save $100.
➡️ Use the coupon code DEC1 to take $50 off your first two payments for the monthly, or 5-pay plan.
➡️ Use coupon code DEC1FP to take a full $100 off the full pay plan.
