The first time I took the ‘stage’ to speak I was just 12 years old.
I was running for Mayor of my grade six classroom and I had to deliver a speech that would convince a bunch of tweens that I was the right choice to lead them (that’s a big stretch). Signs were up around the classroom reminding them, “Don’t be square – vote Steph for Mayor,” (I know, catchy eh?) and I was nervously optimistic that I would win.
And I did.
But as I look back on that time, what I DON’T remember was any fear around speaking. I’m sure I was nervous – but not in that paralyzing way we often associate with public speaking.
Lucky, right?
Fast forward a few years — I’m now 16 and in Mr. Symington’s grade 11 social studies class. We’re asked to give a presentation on a country of our choice.
I am absolutely, completely paralyzed with fear.
My stomach is in knots at the thought. I can’t sleep very well leading up to it. I’m a wreck. And I’m confident that I will make a complete ass of myself if I take the stage.
What changed?
A combination of greater self-awareness, puberty and the “What are they going to think of me???” inner critic that shows up as we get older.
It didn’t help that the presentation had to be in French (I was in French immersion for six years). I never felt tremendously confident about my skills en francais, so that added another layer of terror.
Back to the story…you’re probably wondering if I rose above my fear and delivered a great speech?
Not hardly.
I had my mom call in sick for me that day. I just couldn’t do it.
In the end, my teacher must have known how terrified I was, and let me give the speech to him (alone) over a lunch hour to make it up. Phew!
After that experience I carried the story that I just wasn’t good at public speaking. That I’d NEVER be able to speak in public. That story stayed with me for many years.
Until I was back in the classroom – a University classroom for a Communications course, Spoken & Written Discourse. Damn – this mandatory communications class would mean I’d have to speak in public…again.
Again, the fear took me over. I brainstormed all the ways I could get out of it, but it was a mandatory if I wanted to graduate (I debated graduating at that point).
We had to give an eight minute presentation. I memorized every single word of it. EVERY last word. And I delivered it — face flush, hands shaking so badly I had to hold them behind my back.
Yet, something completely magical (and totally unbelievable for me) happened.
In that moment my fear was released and I was feeling the high of sharing my message. The speech wasn’t that great in retrospect – but it was enough that people paid attention and asked questions. And bottom line? I did it.
That changed everything.
I shifted the story that I wasn’t capable of public speaking, to actually embracing the idea.
And with that mental shift, I went on to take speaking classes and put myself in positions where I’d have to speak to an audience. It went from being paralyzing to exhilarating.
Now I speak in public any chance I can, and it’s a part of my business growth plan for 2013 / 14. I’ve spoken for free and for a fee – and watched new business come my way as the result – AND – felt the thrill of sharing information and ideas to those that really need/want to hear them.
I get that public speaking isn’t for everyone. And that’s just fine.
But what I want to leave you with is that if you’ve got an inkling…or a quiet desire to take the stage, or if you’ve ever told yourself the story that “I’m just not a speaker,” or “I’m scared to speak — I could never do that” then I want to gently remind you that it’s just a story. And that you can write a new one.
Speakers are not born. They are created.
If you’ve got the desire (even if it’s peppered in nervousness and a bit of fear), I encourage you to follow that intuitive hit. Stepping up as a speaker can be a remarkable way to share your message, attract new clients and significantly grow your business.
